The Last Will and Testament of Nic "Moral" Way

Yeah, I debated putting my full name in the post title, but you know what?  It really doesn't matter at this point.  I'm sitting in a very sparse, windowless, concrete-walled room with a single, spastic fluorescent light above my head and a laptop on top of a cardboard box while a Proxy wearing a hand-made papier-mache plague mask watches from the doorway.  Clearly, I'm no longer in Kansas anymore.

Honestly, I agree with Nathan Umbra:  I am a fucking moron.  How did I not see this little 'plot twist' coming?  I mean, I'm a writer, for fuck's sake!  The whole 'cry-for-help-is-really-the-killer' technique is like making the victim's jealous girlfriend the killer; rookie stuff at best.  I really fell for the whole 'no sweat bro, I just got half-hollowed'.  I do need a Darwin Award.

I guess I was just too eager to help, you know?  I felt kind of helpless, like I wasn't doing anyone any good.  Shit was happening all around me (people dying, people being abducted, people getting mindfucked six ways to Sunday), and what was I doing?  I was sitting in my house, worried about what color tablecloths I should have for my graduation party.  So when Whitecrow contacted me and said he was in trouble, I really didn't think much about it.  I jumped right into action, which I guess is exactly what he wanted.

His blog isn't hidden from me anymore.  I can see everything on it.  Honestly, some of it pisses me off.  Hell, most of it pisses me off.  This bastard - no, this fuckwhistle (if I can borrow some creative swears) - had the audacity to blog about his plans.  Blatantly.  He knew that the friends who did car wouldn't be able to interfere.  I hate resourceful antagonists.  That being said, I still get a little chuckle out of the more recent posts, like the one where I kicked his ass.  Good times.

But what really confuses me is the big guy.  The head honcho.  Slendy.  Why the hell would he go to all that trouble to save my ass from a fucking truck if he was only going to send bird-brain after me in the end?  Was that his plan all along, or did something change?  I can't believe I would ever pose a threat to an Eldritch Abomination as powerful as he is.  But if that was his plan all along, why wait to spring Whitecrow on me until now?  None of it makes any sense.

I guess it doesn't matter either way, really.  Trying to figure out Big 'n Tall's motivations won't help me right now.  What will help is some element of surprise.  I'm not going down without a fight, after all.  Yeah, I don't have my weapons on me anymore (even the ones I hid in...um...creative places as a contingency plan), but if I can wrestle his knife away from him, or grab it when he least expects it...

That's not important.  What is important is what happens if I don't make it.  I'm almost out of time here, so I need to get my last words out there.  So...here goes, I guess.

Lucia, thanks for everything.  Seriously.  You helped me in my early days of exposure to this little 'twilight zone,' and I don't know that I would've been able to stay sane without our conversations.  I suspect I don't have to tell you this, but don't listen to Whitecrow; you did all you could to warn me, and it was my fault I didn't pick up on any hints you were giving me.  If you happen to run into the birdfucker...well, you know what to do.

North, thanks for at least being willing to give a rescue a try.  No need to apologize.  My own stupidity put me here.

Nathan Umbra, I'd love to compare my choice words with yours; something tells me they'd line up pretty damn well.

If anyone wants to use my blog as a prime example of what not to do when the Slender Man comes a-knockin', please do.  I'd like to think my legacy of poor decisions will save some sorry bastard some day.  ...hell.  I just realized the irony of this situation.  In trying to learn from my mistakes, I made perhaps the worst mistake of my life.  I would be laughing my ass off if I weren't past the point of hysteria now.

So, that's it.  I'm out of time.  Here he comes.  I'm going to fight.  Maybe win, maybe not.  If I do, I'll get another post up as soon as possible.  If not, well, I guess that's that.

Goodbye, andqpwoi4u;l kj.nsav


  1. Moral. Nic, if you will....

    by the time I'm writing this, your fight has ended. I can only hope that you'll come back online to see this soon.

    you are an invaluable friend to me.

    I'm glad that my words have helped you so much over the months. And I swear to god, on the freak chance that he comes back online instead of you....I do know what to do. If that's how I can repay you, then on my honor...I'll do it.

    I hope you gave him hell.

  2. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry. I would've done whatever I could to rescue you, but that would leave me and my allies vulnerable.

    Here's hoping you won that fight. If so, drinks are on me.

  3. ...For fucks sake. I'm... I shouldn't even say I'm sorry, that doesn't mean anything, but I'm sorry I couldn't get to you on time. Wish you the best of lucks Moral. Lucia and I really did try our best...

  4. The wait is killing us Nic. If either you or Birdbrain are alive, just tell us so we can stop panicking and start mourning/celebrating.

  5. ...I'm talking at a dead man... >.<;

    ...gotta start somewhere... fine then.

    Sorry I... missed you. By the time I came around it was already too late, huh? God, I'm so fucking useless like that. Every time something important happens I'm always the one laying in the floor somewhere drooling on myself. How fucking pathetic can you get?

    I wanna sit here and swear to you that I won't let it happen again. That I'll do better. That I won't let something like this happen again. That I'll make it up to you.

    ...but fat chance of that, huh?

    We're all so fucking idealistic. But we're completely ineffectual at everything we do. I can't fight this thing. None of us can.

    ...won't stop me from trying. Heh... but I know I won't get anywhere with it. Depressing as fuck.

    I don't know what I'm writing this for. Something to do I guess... but I did want to say I was sorry. You didn't deserve this. And that WhiteCrow bastard? Dunno if I'll ever run into him... but if I do, I'll strap a fucking bomb to his chest and kick him off the side of a bridge. It's the least I can do...

    Rest in peace, Nic.
    I won't forget you.

  6. Somehow doubtful of all this, M. But my heart goes to ya.

    - DJ