The Last Will and Testament of Nic "Moral" Way

Yeah, I debated putting my full name in the post title, but you know what?  It really doesn't matter at this point.  I'm sitting in a very sparse, windowless, concrete-walled room with a single, spastic fluorescent light above my head and a laptop on top of a cardboard box while a Proxy wearing a hand-made papier-mache plague mask watches from the doorway.  Clearly, I'm no longer in Kansas anymore.

Honestly, I agree with Nathan Umbra:  I am a fucking moron.  How did I not see this little 'plot twist' coming?  I mean, I'm a writer, for fuck's sake!  The whole 'cry-for-help-is-really-the-killer' technique is like making the victim's jealous girlfriend the killer; rookie stuff at best.  I really fell for the whole 'no sweat bro, I just got half-hollowed'.  I do need a Darwin Award.

I guess I was just too eager to help, you know?  I felt kind of helpless, like I wasn't doing anyone any good.  Shit was happening all around me (people dying, people being abducted, people getting mindfucked six ways to Sunday), and what was I doing?  I was sitting in my house, worried about what color tablecloths I should have for my graduation party.  So when Whitecrow contacted me and said he was in trouble, I really didn't think much about it.  I jumped right into action, which I guess is exactly what he wanted.

His blog isn't hidden from me anymore.  I can see everything on it.  Honestly, some of it pisses me off.  Hell, most of it pisses me off.  This bastard - no, this fuckwhistle (if I can borrow some creative swears) - had the audacity to blog about his plans.  Blatantly.  He knew that the friends who did car wouldn't be able to interfere.  I hate resourceful antagonists.  That being said, I still get a little chuckle out of the more recent posts, like the one where I kicked his ass.  Good times.

But what really confuses me is the big guy.  The head honcho.  Slendy.  Why the hell would he go to all that trouble to save my ass from a fucking truck if he was only going to send bird-brain after me in the end?  Was that his plan all along, or did something change?  I can't believe I would ever pose a threat to an Eldritch Abomination as powerful as he is.  But if that was his plan all along, why wait to spring Whitecrow on me until now?  None of it makes any sense.

I guess it doesn't matter either way, really.  Trying to figure out Big 'n Tall's motivations won't help me right now.  What will help is some element of surprise.  I'm not going down without a fight, after all.  Yeah, I don't have my weapons on me anymore (even the ones I hid in...um...creative places as a contingency plan), but if I can wrestle his knife away from him, or grab it when he least expects it...

That's not important.  What is important is what happens if I don't make it.  I'm almost out of time here, so I need to get my last words out there.  So...here goes, I guess.

Lucia, thanks for everything.  Seriously.  You helped me in my early days of exposure to this little 'twilight zone,' and I don't know that I would've been able to stay sane without our conversations.  I suspect I don't have to tell you this, but don't listen to Whitecrow; you did all you could to warn me, and it was my fault I didn't pick up on any hints you were giving me.  If you happen to run into the birdfucker...well, you know what to do.

North, thanks for at least being willing to give a rescue a try.  No need to apologize.  My own stupidity put me here.

Nathan Umbra, I'd love to compare my choice words with yours; something tells me they'd line up pretty damn well.

If anyone wants to use my blog as a prime example of what not to do when the Slender Man comes a-knockin', please do.  I'd like to think my legacy of poor decisions will save some sorry bastard some day.  ...hell.  I just realized the irony of this situation.  In trying to learn from my mistakes, I made perhaps the worst mistake of my life.  I would be laughing my ass off if I weren't past the point of hysteria now.

So, that's it.  I'm out of time.  Here he comes.  I'm going to fight.  Maybe win, maybe not.  If I do, I'll get another post up as soon as possible.  If not, well, I guess that's that.

Goodbye, andqpwoi4u;l kj.nsav